Random thoughts and records for week one at UCI.
七月的深圳，有着无处安放的潮湿。不下雨的时候，烈日的高温又紧紧黏在身上。
七月的加州，阳光似乎可以渗透到每一个角落。也分不清UCI的小楼，究竟是粉刷成橙色，还是被阳光染上了橙色。
UCI的校园美丽，宁静。不像其他北美学校，总有历史悠久的古典建筑。UCI的建筑大部分是独栋的小楼，设计简约，风格统一。这里像是一个与世隔绝的小镇，远离任何喧嚣，时光融化在阳光里慢慢流淌。
这里的工作风格和国内完全不同。实验室不打卡，时间可以自由安排，甚至可以work at home。组里带我的PhD就是在家里工作，然后只有和教授meeting的时候才来到学校。他说家里有两台显示器，工作环境比实验室好很多。周末的时候，校园里几乎找不到开门的building。就连图书馆，也只从下午一点开到五点。
似乎已经非常习惯国内rush的生活方式，一个接一个的ddl，一个接一个的task。周末休息是奢望，事情似乎永远都做不完。和mentor meeting的第一天，我急着问task list和time line。他告诉我you don’t have to rush, you cannot predict what will happen. I cannot predict that my icloud will cause me problems and I cannot predict my battery will suddenly break down.
For a long time, I always blame myself for things that I cannot control for I expect that I should control and schedule everything well. But I just ignore the obvious truth that no one can control everything, especially in the area of research or the bigger topic — LIFE. All the voice in my mind told me that you should rush, you should race every second. For my entire life in school, we competed for the speed of doing homework, the speed of finishing an exam, the speed of writing a program. It is always the one who did more things in a certain time won.
Is it still the case today?
Certainly no. Life is not a race at all.
Give myself a sweet surrender and patience can heal it all.